Hello Alissa,

My number one suggestion is to make sure you are not spending too much time doing the lessons. And set the timer!
For the next few weeks set the timer for only 15 min and let her see the time, and when it goes off stop where you are and pick up where you left off the next session.

I have found that many times we are just overwhelming them by making sure we finish each lesson, or we don't stop until we think they understood the lesson. Unfortunately, this produces an anxiety over how long, and hard math is going to be. So before you even start a lesson, they are already afraid.

As you see she can sustain longer, add increments of 5 min. until you hit 30min and let that be the most you do with math.

My second suggestion, is end your math with a fun game that she will find success in math.

Now, I wish to speak to the real fact, that MANY girls are people pleasers and they like to do everything right the first time or they find fault with themselves. They want to know exactly what is expected of them, and they want to do it quickly and correctly. Unfortunately, when they are wrong they think that something is wrong and they shy from that topic because they don't want to be wrong anymore. This is a real challenge to the homeschool mother, because we want them to understand what we are teaching, and they just want to get the right answers so they can please us, or themselves. Since we are teaching for understanding we expect them to be learning new ideas, yet in their view they are being showed how dumb they are. This causes a great deal of problems. After all, we don't expect them to know all the answers, we what them to learn how to solve for the answers, but again for them it is a time to expose their "weakness" (of course they are not weak, they are learning; but that is not how they see it).

So my point is this, it seems like a normal reaction for many girls to cry. We have to daily be a cheerleading team, and an encourager, that getting problems wrong is okay, not always knowing the answer is fine, not always understanding is not "bad". This is just a part of learning. And while you are teaching her that, you need to be mindful of when to gently stop the lesson, do a simple game, and let her know that you are happy she is trying.

I know this sounds easier said then done, but really this is a character and learning style issue. They have to become more comfortable with being teachable, and not expect that they should know everything already.

I know with my child, she would cry and refuse to use the abacus in Level B. I couldn't understand why, when it was such a helpful tool, then I learned that she thought it meant she was cheating and she didn't want to be a cheater. It took several times to convince her that the abacus is a tool for learning, not a tool for cheating. And that is one in a dozen stories I could tell of the difficult time I have had with her and math. But I keep her in this program since I know this math program has the correct math philosophy, it views our children as capable of higher understanding, and it teaches math correctly (I mean it is mathematically correct, it doesn't teach false math skills, that ruins their understanding of math; it shows the correct patterns of math). Any difficulties we have are because her and I have not worked out our learning and teaching styles yet. But each year it is better.

I hope I have given you some helpful hints, but more importantly, I hope I have encouraged you to see this from a different angle, and to keep the course of working through this time.

Please let me know if you have any more questions. You can email me directly at Carissa@alabacus.com .

Thank you for giving your child a RightStart in Math,

Carissa
RightStart™ Mathematics by Activities for Learning, Inc.

For program questions: 888.272.3291
To place an order: 888.RS.5.MATH (888.775.6284)
www.RightStartMath.com

Our Mission: To help children understand, apply, and enjoy mathematics

Just to add my own experience... It's not just girls who cry!

I wasn't using RS when my son was 7 or 8 years old. But I did "force" him to do his math and didn't let him "get away with" crying in order to "get out of" his math or other schoolwork.

The end result? A kid who hated all schoolwork, who resisted EVERYTHING, and who on top of it all believed he was stupid -- even though he's actually gifted.

It took a couple years of relaxing, de-stressing, and just flat out not worrying about "academics" to even begin to recover. He does fine now, meltdowns are (almost) unheard of (and usually directly related to fatigue, hunger, etc) and we're doing a goodly amount of bookwork in addition to the good kind of "life learning" stuff... including RS Math now, too. He's almost 11, and I think much of it is also just the level of maturity that kicks in around this age.

The lesson I learned is that it is NOT WORTH FIGHTING over academics when they're this young. I remind myself that in some countries (Sweden, Norway, for instance) they don't even "start school" until age 7 and they have some of the highest literacy rates.

I also remind myself of a school experiment some decades ago where a group of kids did no formal math AT ALL until I think age 11. Then they did the entire grade 1-6 math curriculum in a few weeks or a couple months or something.

The goal of any education at this still-so-young age should be instilling curiosity, confidence, and a love of learning -- rather than any particular knowledge or skill set.

They have TONS and TONS of time to learn what they need to know. And in fact if you wait until they're older and more developmentally advanced, they will learn more quickly and more easily, with less time "wasted" waiting for their brains to "catch up" to the material you're trying to teach. They're also starting to feel more 'grown up' and are more likely to be willing to work and want to learn stuff, just because they're more cognitively aware of the reasons for doing so.

All that being said, I think RS is a great program for kids this age and wish I'd known about it when DS was younger. It's more fun and more attuned to normal brain development than most programs.

BUT -- if the kid is resisting, then there's no reason to force it. Play the games for a few days, a few weeks, a few months even! DO be careful though that your child doesn't believe that you're not doing math lessons for awhile because she's "not smart enough" to do it... Maybe say something like "I can see that math is really stressing you out, and I want you to be able to enjoy it. Would you rather focus on playing the math games for awhile and we'll get back to the lessons when you feel you're ready?"

That way it's not YOU dictating that she's "not ready", but it's herself in control. Then don't push it... don't ask every day "are you ready for a lesson today?" Wait until she brings it up.

Hope that helps... I think it's one of the most important lessons I learned HSing my son. My daughter is only 2 and a very different personality, but I've well-learned now that I'm going to wait until SHE directs that she wants to do "academics", even if that's not until she's 10.