Hi there,
Im a mum of 6 ( 17yr boy, 16yr boy, 14yr girl, 12yr girl, 9yr boy & 7yr girl)

There's always been a lot of noise and hustle n bustle in our house but i could tell that as my 9yr old son's behaviour was getting worse (especially at school)

He watched videos or DVD's over n over again (5/6 times in 1 go and rewinds it at bits he likes and plays it over n over, He also "mimics" the voices and actions and will talks like that all day if he choses to and hes the same with music cd's etc..

I had to cancell SKY tv as he would watch cartoons at all times of day and night. We would catch him up at anytime between 2 and 5am and he would raid the kitchen and make snacks n stuff as well (we have a lock on kitchen door now)

He was diagnosed with AS on friday 30th sept 05 and its still trying to sink in. I have a meeting with his teacher on tuesday and apart from them telling me that he will need a support teacher i dont know what to expect.
His teacher says that although he is very bright and can answer almost anything, very good reader etc. he wont write things down and refuses to do handwriting for any more than 5 mins then he's off.
He shouts out answers, shouts to the teacher instead of going to the desk, he makes strange noises while doing his work but when i ask my son about it he says that he doesnt and gets cross with me when i tell him that he does these things.

I dont really know anything to do differently although ive known for a few years now not to shout as this sends him off in a rage, hands over ears and screams. He has also been covering his ears and shouting "CONFUSED.COM" (from the advert on t.v)

I made a list of "what to do's" from getting up at 7.30am to going to bed at 9pm (although he's never in bed by 9)

He was born with a heart defect and had major open heart surgery when he was 4yrs old and i feel he's been through enough without having this as well.

Sometimes i feel like they have just decided to "label" him because he's a bit essentric and a little different and says things that he shouldn't and with an "adult" tone (some ppl say he talks like an old man)

Yesterday he decided to be a dog for the evening, barking, wagging his bottom, whining to get into the bathroom etc.. and i understand that while i can handle him at home this kind of behaviour in class is not acceptable.

The problem i face is WHAT DO I TELL HIM???

To be honest he's the type of boy that after he found out he would be quite happy to tell everyone and anyone who will listen (as he does when he shows his scar to everyone, shop assistants and all)

He a very loving little boy (except when he had a "bad day" and he will throw things, slam doors, shout, punch, kick and scream and tell me he hates me and tells me to get out his room and he hates everyone etc...)

Im sorry to go on but i dont know where to go from here, please help.

Many thanx
Jewels xxx

Hi Jewel, reading your message brought it all back to me, our 6 year old son was diagnosed with Asperger's about a year and a half ago. You have absolutely done the right thing in getting your son diagnosed.. Many people see a "label" as a negative but the positives far outweigh the negatives. Now you have an explanation as to why your wee one is a bit different, you also have an explanation to give to him and other people, a diagnosis also opens many other doors that will be able to help you that may not neccessarly have been available to you otherwise. Most importantly you can will be able to learn how to communicate with you son more effectively.
Many people say that when your child is diagnosed it feels like a bereavment (it certainly did to us, we felt like we had lost a child that ironically we never had in the first place) Although I don't know you or your personal circumstances, my advice to you would be to take a bit of time to come to terms with the diagnosis yourself before offering an explanation to your son. I cried many tears and eventually had to take some time off work etc as I felt like I wasn't coping anymore until one day I eventually decided that I had to get to grips with things and find out as much as I could and see what the next step should be. When the time does come to tell your son, you will be better equiped and stronge enough to deal with his reaction. There are plenty of wedsites, books, leaflets etc that can direct you on ways to tell your children, friends, family etc about his diagnosis and how special your son is. The National Autistic Society wedsite has a great collection of information, leaflets etc, take a look www.nas.org.uk
My thougths are with you at this time, I know how isolated you must be feeling at the moment. When Matthew was diagnosed intially I used to find myself offloading in this forum and I was always guaranteed of a few shoulders to cry on and useful advice to boot. This is a great group, please feel free to use and abuse us because we have all been there and know exactly how you are feeling at this very difficult time,
Take Care
Sharon X

Hi again,
Thanx for the reply sharon and im sorry i havnt got back for ages but as im sure you can imagine things have been pretty tough and altho im now a little better i still feel like my head is not quite part of my body at times.

Things have been ok but been having to see all sorts of different people and when i leave i feel even worse than when i went in, i know its something we need to hear and i know its all for the best for Liam but its really hard going as when i get home i see him as "Liam" just like ive always done but when i take him to the OT/child development/etc etc.. i feel like im right back where i started when they gave the diagnosis... Is any of this making sense LOL

Even tho i have 6 kids i havent even bought 1 single prezzie and im feeling pretty bad and totally stressed out with that.
Also i got offered a job the week before his diagnosis and i really feel some days that i just cant face it (i work as a play leader at a playscheme place with kids all day and i just think of Liam all the time and think what he can and cant do when little ones aged 1 - 5 can do them and i really dont want to be thinking like that

I also had a saturday job working 8 - 5 in a supermarket but i foned them on monday and told them i wouldnt be back... I just felt exhausted then having to deal with Liam on top was just too much.

Anyway i took my son to see the OT 4 wks ago she told me to apply for DLA for him, so after 4 weeks of not wanting to do it ive eventually sent it off.

Anyway thanx for my rant, im off to bed now.

Hope your all well
Night night
Luv
Jewels xxx