MY IGNORANCE CONCERNING MUSLIMS AND AFGHANS.




I don't know much about Muslims.


I admit my ignorance, but it's not my fault.


There weren't any in my neighborhood.


I heard about them in school,


but my teacher was so uneducated she called them "Moslems".




I don't have anything against Muslims.


I like Mohammed Ali, but he doesn't have a long beard,


and he wears civvies.


I don't think Hugh Heffner is a Muslim.


He just hangs out in his pajamas and bathrobe.




I hope to be enlightened,


to be raised up from my denseness concerning these people.




I saw this on the TV news: An American Muslim school classroom.


The kids were cute and smart.


The teacher's voice was friendly and intelligent,


with no trace of an accent.


At first she looked like the nuns did when I was a child:


floor length black cloak with a hood,


and wearing horn rimmed glasses.


But, to top off the ensemble,


a black cloth hung down


from her glasses covering her whole face. Cool!


It could have been Larry King, for all you could see.


Bearing in mind my lack of knowledge,


for which I blame everyone in my childhood,


would somebody explain to me why this is not spooky?


I crave to be understanding.




The little girls showed their faces.


At what age do they go undercover?


It seems to me it would be a hardship on the pretty ones,


and a help to the homely ones,


but I'm probably wrong.




I've been wondering if those Taliban guys get the jokes.


Do they ever have a good laugh


when they're not stabbing somebody?


As I write this, I sincerely hope they do have a sense of humor.




I know the ones who attacked America are not your usual Muslims.


I don't blame anybody but the fanatics who died


while committing mass murder,


expecting to land in Heaven any minute.


Imagine their surprise when they landed someplace else.




I've been up all night thinking about this:


Can we get the Afghan men to cover their faces?


We could drop masks from bombers at night.


It might help the tourist trade,


and make the ladies feel less conspicuous.




If not masks, then maybe Groucho Glasses.




Please file this under "Humor".




Jack Blanchard




© 2001.